I want to be the person people admire for her strength and persistence.
We are a week into November and I am one of ‘those’ people…one of those who gets very excited about the holidays! The dye still isn’t out of my hair from Halloween yet, but I am ready to deck the halls! Now, interestingly enough, I always do love the season that leads up to Christmas Day, however, this year more than ever.
Before you bah humbug me and tell me to take my cheer elsewhere until after thanksgiving, hear me out.
I’ve learned many lessons in the last year. But one that I continue to learn is that things change. Life isn’t what you planned it to be (which isn’t good or bad but just is). So this year when my family’s Thanksgiving has a change of venue, and a break from tradition…I roll with the punches. But to be sure my favorite holiday is celebrated the way I like to celebrate it, then I make time to do so. My family and I are taking next weekend to start the holidays off strong! A solid three days of a Christmas explosion! Baking, decorating, drinking, singing, laughing about the holidays!
When I explained this to people and they see how this truly is one of my favorite parts of the holiday season, some get it, some don’t. To those that don’t, I wish I could explain to them what it means to me and what’ll yours important to celebrate when I can with the people I love…something I’m so grateful for! That I no longer live states away from my family and can take a day off and drive home for some holiday cheer…because life changes and I don’t save anything for a rainy day, especially not moments.
The holidays have always been an important, fun time for my family. And I’m excited that I’m in such a better place than compared to where I was a year ago. This year I can enjoy it all without worries and doubts and I get to celebrate with so many people and spread my cheer! :) (cheesy, maybe, but what can I say, I’m a holiday sucker!)
Peace, love & gingerbread lattes!!
Wow. What a whirlwind. What a difference a year makes.
I was lucky to be a part of a really cool project called Paper Bag Writers (www.paperbagwriters.net) that basically is all about using words and sharing anything you want on a paper bag. So when my bag arrived I was feeling super happy about where I am in my life and decided to trek back through some old blog posts…ironically, you’ll see an adaption of the last blog I wrote on here, on the bag. With the other side being one of my lowest of low entries (I was actually slightly upset to see I had deleted many of my low, emotional blogs…they were raw and real and got me to where I am today, but I don’t need to look back anymore).
Writing those words out reminded me that I hadn’t really blogged or even journaled in a while. (Although, I will say, I do partake in the “Jar of Happiness” that Liz Gilbert talks about, I try to write something down on a post-it every day that makes me smile!) So last Sunday, I grabbed some paper, a pen, a great soundtrack and some coffee and hit one of my favorite places (some bluffs off the ocean where my Grandpa’s ashes were spread years and years ago) and I wrote. And I cried. And I smiled. And I sang. And I thought. And wrote.
And I decided, I need to take that time at least once a week to do so…and I hope to continue to blog on here as an outlet.
Literally a year ago…ok, a year ago on November 14th…my cards began to align. After flailing for a year and questioning “why me” and crying and being sad…it all slowly started to make sense. A year ago my friend posted about a job. A year ago my sister picked up the phone to tell me it sounded like the perfect job for me. A year ago I said, “I don’t think so,” but still applied. Slowly, after that…things began making sense. I have old blogs that track back those days…the day when I flew to Albuquerque and moved all of my stuff into a UHAUL by myself…and then instantly moving forward with the position. The days of waiting and not hearing anything…and then the day I was offered the position and took it.
It changed my life.
I always preach about living the life you love, and until that point, I think I convinced myself that I was living that life. Until now. When I see now that I actually am happy. This is what happy looks like. Happy isn’t convincing everyone you “love your stressful career” and it’s ok that you don’t have friends because nothing is more important than work. Compared to now…When everyday brings me genuine smiles. When my co-workers joke about me being the happiest girl at work. When I have people that want to do stuff with me. When I get to see my family by driving a few hours and not having to fly through time zones. When I realize that for half my life, I had been talking about living in the city I now live in. The fact that I love the people I am surrounded by and for years I tried to find “genuine friends.” To be stress free and the biggest worry is what winery to visit on a weekend or what hike to go on. Life is good. I have let go. I have learned to live for me. I am doing what I love.
So for anyone out there who can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. Who can’t seem to stop the tears from flowing from your eyes. Who swear it will never make sense no matter what. Just know that this too shall pass. As cliche as this all may sound, it’s true. Every day since I started this new life I literally thank my lucky stars and God that I am where I am…that despite my lack of faith at times, I made it. That now, looking back, you bet I would have gone through it all over again just to be here today. It made me a better person and makes me appreciate every little thing every day. I saw a quote the other day and I just loved it, “I love the person I’ve become because I fought to become her.” I couldn’t have said it better if I tried!
So keep on keeping on. Smile through the pain. Trust in the process. And let go so the life you think is meant to you so the life you love can find you.
peace & love & be good to each other <3
Can you smell the ocean air and sunscreen from there???
I’ve recently moved and started a new chapter, or book, in my life. I’m sitting at the beach taking in the central coast sun now! Crazy, I now am getting paid to blog, amongst a handful of other things that would make anyone jealous! And I’m working in tennis, my life passion. It’s a bit crazy to say the least!! And I couldn’t be happier.
I love SLO! (San Luis Obispo for anyone not familiar with the central coastline cities). Seriously, everyone here is so nice and friendly and happy! And I feel so comfortable in my skin for the first time in a long time!! I’m excited for what this new book and new city and new job holds for me! I’m enjoying it daily and can be myself whether it is just wasting hours at the beach or feeling out about tennis at work.
Anyway, yes it is really strange how life works out.
Hope everyone is well, I will try to maintain this blog on my weekends and keep posting when I get a chance!!
Peace & love!!
ok. so i’m officially freaking out.
yesterday, i was excited. nervous. excited. and still excited.
today, i’m freaking out.
yesterday i accepted a position with an awesome tennis company to do what i do best…play tennis, review equipment, clothes, etc., write blogs, make videos, do all kinds of fun stuff. i initially applied for the job in novemeber, and it’s been a long, drawn out, slow process, until yesterday.
now, i’ve accepted the job and agreed to re-loacte to the beautiful town of San Luis Obispo all within a week. yes. a week (more or less)!
if you know me at all, you know this is how i live my life. i don’t plan well and don’t enjoy planning, so most things that happen for me and with me, is very spur of the moment. so this fits the bill, which makes me sure it’s the right thing for me to do. i just would like to find a place to live that i love (fingers crossed i find something this weekend!!!)
my head is literally spinning and it’s frustrating as i want to be able to write more and enjoy this moment, but at the same time have the demands of this life-change weighing on me.
so, i apologize if i’m absent for the next few days or so!
until next time, be healthy & be kind!!