Guess who’s back?!

Wow. What a whirlwind. What a difference a year makes.

I was lucky to be a part of a really cool project called Paper Bag Writers (www.paperbagwriters.net) that basically is all about using words and sharing anything you want on a paper bag. So when my bag arrived I was feeling super happy about where I am in my life and decided to trek back through some old blog posts…ironically, you’ll see an adaption of the last blog I wrote on here, on the bag. With the other side being one of my lowest of low entries (I was actually slightly upset to see I had deleted many of my low, emotional blogs…they were raw and real and got me to where I am today, but I don’t need to look back anymore).

photo 1[1]Writing those words out reminded me that I hadn’t really blogged or even journaled in a while.  (Although, I will say, I do partake in the “Jar of Happiness” that Liz Gilbert talks about, I try to write something down on a post-it every day that makes me smile!) So last Sunday, I grabbed some paper, a pen, a great soundtrack and some coffee and hit one of my favorite places (some bluffs off the ocean where my Grandpa’s ashes were spread years and years ago) and I wrote. And I cried. And I smiled. And I sang. And I thought. And wrote.

And I decided, I need to take that time at least once a week to do so…and I hope to continue to blog on here as an outlet.

Literally a year ago…ok, a year ago on November 14th…my cards began to align. After flailing for a year and questioning “why me” and crying and being sad…it all slowly started to make sense. A year ago my friend posted about a job. A year ago my sister picked up the phone to tell me it sounded like the perfect job for me. A year ago I said, “I don’t think so,” but still applied. Slowly, after that…things began making sense. I have old blogs that track back those days…the day when I flew to Albuquerque and moved all of my stuff into a UHAUL by myself…and then instantly moving forward with the position. The days of waiting and not hearing anything…and then the day I was offered the position and took it.

It changed my life.

I always preach about living the life you love, and until that point, I think I convinced myself that I was living that life. Until now. When I see now that I actually am happy. This is what happy looks like. Happy isn’t convincing everyone you “love your stressful career” and it’s ok that you don’t have friends because nothing is more important than work. Compared to now…When everyday brings me genuine smiles. When my co-workers joke about me being the happiest girl at work. When I have people that want to do stuff with me. When I get to see my family by driving a few hours and not having to fly through time zones. When I realize that for half my life, I had been talking about living in the city I now live in. The fact that I love the people I am surrounded by and for years I tried to find “genuine friends.” To be stress free and the biggest worry is what winery to visit on a weekend or what hike to go on. Life is good. I have let go. I have learned to live for me. I am doing what I love.

photo 2[1]So for anyone out there who can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. Who can’t seem to stop the tears from flowing from your eyes. Who swear it will never make sense no matter what. Just know that this too shall pass. As cliche as this all may sound, it’s true. Every day since I started this new life I literally thank my lucky stars and God that I am where I am…that despite my lack of faith at times, I made it. That now, looking back,  you bet I would have gone through it all over again just to be here today. It made me a better person and makes me appreciate every little thing every day. I saw a quote the other day and I just loved it, “I love the person I’ve become because I fought to become her.” I couldn’t have said it better if I tried!

So keep on keeping on. Smile through the pain. Trust in the process. And let go so the life you think is meant to you so the life you love can find you.

peace & love & be good to each other ❤

Update!

Can you smell the ocean air and sunscreen from there???

I’ve recently moved and started a new chapter, or book, in my life. I’m sitting at the beach taking in the central coast sun now! Crazy, I now am getting paid to blog, amongst a handful of other things that would make anyone jealous! And I’m working in tennis, my life passion. It’s a bit crazy to say the least!! And I couldn’t be happier.

I love SLO! (San Luis Obispo for anyone not familiar with the central coastline cities). Seriously, everyone here is so nice and friendly and happy! And I feel so comfortable in my skin for the first time in a long time!! I’m excited for what this new book and new city and new job holds for me! I’m enjoying it daily and can be myself whether it is just wasting hours at the beach or feeling out about tennis at work.

Anyway, yes it is really strange how life works out.

Hope everyone is well, I will try to maintain this blog on my weekends and keep posting when I get a chance!!

Peace & love!!

you see progress, i see much more work to be done!

ahhhh i had this great blog in mind to write, and then i heard news how satan is destroying something that once was part of me and mine…without saying anything to be obvious, once a classless liar, ALWAYS A CLASSLESS LIAR. and this in no way involves a man.  complete bitch drama right here.  karma is a bitch, and that’s all i have to say.

i can’t wait to get to the punching bags tomorrow…!!!!!!

anyway…back to the task at hand.

you see progress, i see much more work to be done!!!

my beautiful friend (who also happens to be my awesome lifting/workout partner in crime!) got married over the weekend!  it was lovely and fun.  anyway, i posted a picture and got a flood of responses on how “great” i look and asking how much weight i’ve lost, blah blah blah…

first things first, i don’t do well with complements.  never have.  want to know why??  to me, i always can do better or improve.  hearing someone complement me on how i look makes me a) think i must have looked REALLY bad before and b) only makes me want to look even better!!!!

with that being said, i’ve been working out hard core more or less for 3 months now.  i’ve eaten super well all month with my cheat meals sporadically.  and i’ve enjoyed my “rest days” by working out and taking one complete day off (let’s face it, i’m not working SO hard that a full 24 hours off is absolutely necesary in my opinion, so a quick 2 mile run is ok on a day off when i only have bootcamp to follow the next morning).  i know where i struggle and the things i hate doing, which means they are the things i NEED to do.  i am focusing this week on upping my cardio, which means i will be adding sprints and jump rope in between my lifting sets.  and if i can get myself to run 2-6 more miles this week on top of my workouts, i will be happy with myself!!!

i don’t see the progress everyone else is seeing.  i want to see it more!!  i know i have lost inches and fat, and i know i need to enjoy the small steps, but i’m trying to push to somewhere my body hasn’t been in a long time, which means i need to stay focused and not let myself slip at a little complement.

 

ok. sorry…more drama, that’s it for today!!

be good to one another!! ❤

 

snacks & such…

so eating a high protein diet and keeping it clean can force you to get creative!  some days all you want is SOMETHING to snack on, but you just don’t know what.

for me, i’m trying to stay high protein all the time, and limit my carb consumption. i’ll even go as far as restricting carbs after 12pm…which means when i want to reach for a peice of fruit at 3pm, or wosrt 7pm, i either “give in” and let that be a bit of a “cheat” or turn to my ever-so-high-in-protein snack 0% plain greek yogurt.  it kills me when i see people talking about how amazing their flavored yogurts are too and how “healthy” they are.  i used to be that girl!  “oh yum, 0% vanilla greek yogurt!” — if you are at all concerned with the amount of carbs you consume, do yourself a favor and read the nutritional value in those.  i guarentee that there isn’t a single “flavored” yogurt (greek or otherwise) that will be “low” on the carb scale… just a little fyi for all you out there 😉

so yes…snacks…or even cravings…i’ll share a few of my favorites with you guys.  and with most high-protein, clean things, i think my recipes are ever evolving and i’m always looking on how to add a little flare naturally…so feel free to be inspired but come up with your own ideas and recipes! and for anyone out there with your own recipes that are high in protein send them my way!

ok.

protein chai latte

this has become my favorite way to have my protein in the morning when i have time to brew tea…and usually no matter how early it is, i have time to brew tea!

i use a 1/2 cup of boiling water to brew my double chai tea bag

1 scoop of chocolate protein

almond milk

and ice

brew tea. add to blender bottle with protein. fill with almond milk. add ice. shake. and enjoy!!!

 

protein “cakes”

the other day i was CRAVING cake or any kind of carb-y pastry at that! i refused to give into my craving and decided to throw something together with some protein.

i grabbed a mug. a scoop of vanilla protein.  an egg. a dash of cinnamon. some almond milk. gave it a good mix, threw it in the microwave. and waaaa-laaa!

not betty crocker status or anything, but sweet and kind of did the trick.

 

protein pancakes!

this has been my favorite. gotta love sunday breakfasts, but hate the guilt.

so i tried my own mix and came up with this:

1 scoop of van protein

1/2 cup oats

1 egg

greek yogurt & almond milk to make the right consistency

cinnamon

mix it up! throw it on the griddle! enjoy! have fun with it by adding in fruit or adding fruit after it’s cooked in place of syrup.  or even add some pumpkin to give it some more texture and personality.

my other go-tos:

– celery & hummus

– using zuchinni as pasta

– pistachios

– raw almonds (love raw so much more than the non-raw ones!)

– tea!!  my new addiction! i buy a new kind every week!  get some flavor without the calories!

 

 

so this is extra credit — NOT HIGH in protein or clean.  BUT if you are craving something sweet, i can tell you that frozen grapes with some sugar free jello sprinkled on them (the powder) is a fun, sweet, sour surprise. i’m a little addicted. but try to avoid snacking on these at night!

 

 

i will try and add more fun snacks as i think of them! but i’m off to make a chai protein latte as i’m starving!! cheers! xxx