Healthy Changes.

For the first time in my life, I’ve broken patterns of emotional eating. I know, that sounds pathetic. I probably sound like a middle-aged woman who sits at home at night eating a tub of ice cream. That’s not me. However, I’ve had patterns of having a bad day and going straight to the pantry to whip up a batch of brownies, while enjoying enough batter to make myself sick. Between that and the fact that I used to think I could get away with eating whatever I wanted as long as I put the work time in at the gym, I am working on changing those unhealthy habits.

Since the year has begun, I haven’t binged on anything, let alone anything unhealthy, and I’ve maintained my clean eating (with my free meal per week, which has ended up not being huge splurges either). My cravings have become comical…currently I’m waiting for my broccoli and asparagus to cook as I am enjoying a plate of veggies as a snack. Last night, instead of finding a high calorie, high fat food to feel sorry for myself with, I enjoyed a bowl of frozen grapes.

And I’m not suffering or craving the foods I once enjoyed. I’m enjoying finding creative new ways to make meals. And most of all, I’m enjoying how I feel!

I didn’t have a great workout today and was struggling to maintain my focus during bootcamp, so instead of being pissed at myself, I grabbed the jump rope and some med balls and did an extra thirty minutes of focused sweating and anger management!

I’m proud of myself for continuing to work to be the healthiest version of me!

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healthy is beautiful.

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i’ve been slacking on my “thankful” posts…and every time i think of what to write about, i’m brought back to being thankful for my health and athleticism, and ability and opportunity to work on my physical side.

for the first time in my life, that’s almost 30 years, i am working on finding the body i like in a HEALTHY way.

as i’ve mentioned before, i’ve always struggled with body image. i’ve always been tall…i’ve always been strong…i’ve never been tiny or skinny or anything like that. at a young age i learned to starve myself and binge and starve myself and restrict things from my diet and push my body to the limits.

starving is a HORRIBLE habit that has always been my go to. PLEASE, ANYONE READING THIS, DONT EVER STARVE YOURSELF. I DONT CONDONE THIS IN ANY WAY. i hate that thats how i coped with “feeling fat” or a bad weekend of eating. and i KNEW it messed up my metabolism even more! so it was pathetic — i KNEW i was hurting myself and still would do it. i felt horrible for being a coach of female athletes and being guilty of restricting myself of food for hours and hours at a time.

For the first time in my life, i see that i NEED TO EAT. Eating is STILL a challenge for me. Some days it’s a chore and i force myself to eat, whether it’s chugging a protein drink or forcing some chicken down, i know my body needs fuel. and it needs the right fuel.

i find myself desperate to shove protein in my mouth now, instead of desperate to keep busy so i don’t realize my stomach growling from hunger!

be healthy ladies. DONT STARVE YOURSELF! it only messes things up more…you feel skinnier but your metabolism gets insanely out of wack. DO EAT! and in moderation and healthy. don’t go out and gorge on donuts and beer, but if you want a beer and a donut, go for it, but stop at one…and get your butt to the gym 😉 BE SMART. if you’re hungry, eat. DRINK WATER! hunger is often disguised by thirst. drink some water and see if you still are hungry. and STAY ACTIVE. make exercise fun and you’ll never want to miss a day!