you see progress, i see much more work to be done!

ahhhh i had this great blog in mind to write, and then i heard news how satan is destroying something that once was part of me and mine…without saying anything to be obvious, once a classless liar, ALWAYS A CLASSLESS LIAR. and this in no way involves a man.  complete bitch drama right here.  karma is a bitch, and that’s all i have to say.

i can’t wait to get to the punching bags tomorrow…!!!!!!

anyway…back to the task at hand.

you see progress, i see much more work to be done!!!

my beautiful friend (who also happens to be my awesome lifting/workout partner in crime!) got married over the weekend!  it was lovely and fun.  anyway, i posted a picture and got a flood of responses on how “great” i look and asking how much weight i’ve lost, blah blah blah…

first things first, i don’t do well with complements.  never have.  want to know why??  to me, i always can do better or improve.  hearing someone complement me on how i look makes me a) think i must have looked REALLY bad before and b) only makes me want to look even better!!!!

with that being said, i’ve been working out hard core more or less for 3 months now.  i’ve eaten super well all month with my cheat meals sporadically.  and i’ve enjoyed my “rest days” by working out and taking one complete day off (let’s face it, i’m not working SO hard that a full 24 hours off is absolutely necesary in my opinion, so a quick 2 mile run is ok on a day off when i only have bootcamp to follow the next morning).  i know where i struggle and the things i hate doing, which means they are the things i NEED to do.  i am focusing this week on upping my cardio, which means i will be adding sprints and jump rope in between my lifting sets.  and if i can get myself to run 2-6 more miles this week on top of my workouts, i will be happy with myself!!!

i don’t see the progress everyone else is seeing.  i want to see it more!!  i know i have lost inches and fat, and i know i need to enjoy the small steps, but i’m trying to push to somewhere my body hasn’t been in a long time, which means i need to stay focused and not let myself slip at a little complement.


ok. sorry…more drama, that’s it for today!!

be good to one another!! ❤



who am i…? (re: about me)

I joined the blog world a few months back while going through some of the tougher challenges of my life. I used it to vent and say things out loud that really could never be spoken to friends or family. However while writing about my sorrows and problems and issues, I felt guilty for being so negative. In turn, I began this blog to help lift myself up and hopefully others in the process. This blog was (and still is) meant for only positive things!! However, this blog has always taken a back seat to my “personal” blog.

Until this year.

When starting this blog I struggled with what to write and how to find positivity again. After a huge career let down, a break up with the man I thought I was going to marry, and a realization that I wasn’t in shape despite thinking I was, my life seemed to be an absolute chaotic mess. Now, with a commitment to my healthy lifestyle, this is where I find my energy focusing and will strive to post positive and encouraging messages day in and out right here.
So what makes me tick and why read what I have to write??
I’ve been an athlete my whole life. And I’ve struggled with my body image and weight just as long. I’ve been a top ranked college athlete and have also coached at the college level. I know the struggles female athletes face and better yet, I know the struggles women face. And for the first time in my life I can honestly say I am getting fit the healthy way. Since the age of 15 I can remember starving and binging. It had been my way of life. Eat too much, starve the next day. Even as a coach, on trips I’d carb overload for a weekend and proceed not to eat the following Monday. Not healthy at all. And I knew it!  And, even worst, I felt guilty because it was such a horrible example to set to the young women I loved to coach.  I’ve blogged about it before, but last November was an eye opening experience for me.  When I sat down with my trainer and we discussed eating and food.  I always thought I had been “healthy” — even when I proudly brought my food log in for him to look at, I was doubtful they would find anything wrong with how I ate…boy was I wrong!  It wasn’t that I was unhealthy, but the way I was eating and WHAT I was eating was not working with my body.  I ate clean for a week and instantly lost inches on my body and a percentage of body fat.  I knew then that I finally found my answer to get to where I want to be with my body.  With the constant reminder that YOU CANNOT OUT TRAIN A BAD DIET!  (I had lived my life thinking I could — so I had some cake, I’ll do an extra class or run an extra mile the next day.  Oh, I played three hours of tennis so I can eat that pasta…NOT for me!).
Never in my life, (until I lost my job, fumbled around for a new one, wasn’t finding ANYTHING that would stick) did I realize I had never actually taken the time to work on ME.  When I had trained before it was always for MY SPORT or my team or my job — it was always something I did (and didn’t mind doing) but I had to do it because of what I did.  I never just did it for me.  Finally, I am doing it for me.  And it’s filled the whole that was left after the turmoil and mess of last year.  It has become a passion and love of mine.  I think it mainly is because I can constantly challenge myself to push harder or go farther or lift heavier.  I’ve always been someone who loves to work hard.  So it was easy to find myself spending hours on hours working out.  As I inch closer and closer to 30 (and after the use and abuse my body has already been through), I need to make sure to stay healthy and injury free which leads to the reason why I need to change the way I eat and instead of abusing my body to burn off the “bad” food in the gym, I can get a good workout in 1-2 hours and know I did ENOUGH.
I finished 2012 off dabling (I say dabling only because I had every good intention to stick to it day in and day out but lacked the complete discipline to do so during the holidays) in eating clean, but with the distractions of the holidays, I couldn’t maintain the way I wanted to.  Losing ten pounds in the month between November to December, I was kind of shocked despite my lack of discipline.  So with the holidays over and the year fresh, I am committed to eating clean day in and day out, allowing myself a “free” meal (cheat makes it sound like you are doing something really wrong, free just makes it sound a little better to me) once a week.  I’m looking forward to what my body becomes by my 30th Birthday in just a few short months!
I plan on continuing my positive outlook.  I’m hoping I can continue to help motivate and touch other people’s lives.  I will continue to learning as much as I can, although I must say, I do feel like I have become quite knowledgable in the clean eating and protein consumption areas in life, with already a lot of knowledge in training and all of that.  I will NEVER post something if I don’t know it to be true or don’t believe in it.  And I will use this for more than just fitness and healthy talk.  I want it to be a platform about and for women, so we may end up chatting politically or spiritually, philosophically, etc.  Who knows…whatever I’m feeling passionate about at that moment is usually what ends up on these pages 😉
So that’s me!  Looking forward to sharing my journey along the way!

Thankful Thursday


Today I am insanely thankful for my health.

I have been blessed to have been given the ability to be active my whole life. Sure, it’s a constant struggle with my body image and some days I’ve just not had the motivation to move and sweat, but all in all I am thankful for this body and couldn’t be happier that I was raised on tennis. Being an athlete is what I know how to do. Being able to remain athletic and train is something I think I take advantage of sometimes.

Working out has always been something that puts me in a better mood, takes me away from any pain, and lets me take out my stresses.

The fact that I’m trying to get back to the shape I was in 10 years ago is amazing and I’m thankful I have the ability to do so!