it’s not ok…(in relations to the toxic use of the “F” word!)

so i’ve been going over and over ideas on what to blog about today. lots of “feminist” topics continue to arise. along with my fit & health issues, most who read this blog know i’m on my “fitness journey” and lately that’s been a main focus of mine. (or as a friend said the other night, “michelle is on her health kick.” newsflash friends, it’s not a fad or diet or “kick” — this is a new way of life and i’m sticking with it! so apologies if you do find my over enthusiastic tweets annoying or my instagram pictures of my clean food makes your eyes roll, but for me to be successful i need to be 100% in it and surround myself with like-minded thinkers…and it seems the more i do obsess, the better i stay on track 😉

anyway, to piggy back off that statement a bit, my twitter account has become 75% fitness and health related. many people make anonymous twitter accounts when on their fitness journey so they can post progress pictures and tweet whatever they want with no worries about people KNOWING who they are. a) i’m not THAT talented to maintain more than one twitter account at a time (yes, i’ve tried!) and b) i actually enjoy this being a part of me and if i can get friends, family, or other random followers motivated to change their lives, then even better!! (i KNOW my sister MUST be completely annoyed with my rampid tweeting as of late as she gets my tweets sent to her phone…sorry ash, but you know how i get when i’m obsessed!) so shout out to the #fitfam on twitter…what an awesome group of hard working individuals of all ages and all shapes and sizes all over the world. dedicated and determined like-minded people working to better themselves in every way possible.

SO MY POINT TODAY (sorry…this is my scattered brain way of getting to what I’d actually like to write about, which hasn’t even come up yet!), i follow a bunch of healthy, fit-freaks like me and there’s been a few girls/women/fitties who i have seen tweet about being called “fat” or “ugly” or “chubby” by friends, family, or even worst, boyfriends. it breaks my heart because i get it. i’ve been there. i was that girl who was called “fat” by my ex. i AM that girl that has a HUGE body complex and am hoping that ONE day i can be happy with what is looking back in the mirror at me.

so i’d like to start by saying, as much as we are ALL guilty of it, the word FAT needs to be erased from OUR vocabulary! everyone’s vocabulary at that. the dreaded “f” word is 100% worst than it’s 4 letter counterpart of an “f” word. it’s way more destructive. the only time it comes out of my mouth is when i’m having a shitty day and feeling bad about myself. so, that’s it, the word FAT is gone from your mouths and shall never be said in regards to anyones body shape.

got it? good!

secondly, who are WE to judge ANYONE? who are YOU to judge? who am i to judge? don’t we all have enough problems and issues and drama in our own lives to be too busy to be judging everyone around us? i mean, just based on everyone’s facebook statuses alone, i don’t think you have the extra time in your day to judge me or anyone else. as women, we are SO quick to judge and be catty or rude…it’s so much easier to turn that negativity into something positive and help someone out or smile! i finished my workout today at bootcamp and instead of gloating or sitting down like i deserved it more than anyone else still training, i grabbed a new lady to our bootcamp and finished the workout with her. i can’t stand women who walk around like they are better than you because they wear a size two and don’t sweat while working out (oopps, yes, that’s me judging a bit, isn’t it??), but you know the people i love? the ones who see you are working hard and are willing to help you get there. the people who include you in their workouts or encourage you to finish your last lap or are genuinely there to see you succeed! those are my kind of people…

anyway, i’m getting off topic, mostly because i’m worried i’m going to get on a feminist rant.

i worry that men (or boys) think it’s OK to call women “fat” or “ugly” because they see us do it to eachother, or even worst, they see us do it to ourselves. well, it is not ok. those are words that never leave us. you think i will ever forget how my ex grabbed my arm and said “your arms are big, you could use some work there” — there’s no way in hell that i will ever forget those words or how it made me feel. you think i will ever forget him telling me i was “fat” when i was the one who went to the gym and worked out? nope. and when i brought it up and said it’s not ok for him to say those things about me, do you think i’ll ever forget how he began to laugh hysterically and say “it was just a joke!” no way. it is NOT ok. i don’t even need to go into a reason why, it just isn’t ok. it isn’t ok to make anyone feel absolutely horrible about themself. it isn’t ok to tell someone who already thinks they are the size of an elephant that now the person they love thinks that too. (i really can get into it and go into bullying and all that, but i’m going to keep it at this)

newsflash, there actually isn’t enough GOOD in the world. there aren’t THAT many people going out of their way to make strangers smile. we have shootings and suicides and violence and hate daily. and it’s NOT ok to put people down and make them feel bad. (why is this SUCH a hard concept for people to get?!??!?!) it absolutely guts me everytime i read “my boyfriend called me fat today.” Did he think that was going to put a smile on your face?!? Did he think you weren’t already self conscious about what you looked like?!?! did he think that was going to put you in a super happy lovey dovey mood?!?!?!

i apologize for the rambled post. i just feel quite strong about this and think men and women alike need to be nicer to each other and themselves.

and for any female in a relationship with a male (OR vice versa!) who puts her down in one way or another, i pray that you have the strength to realize that you deserve SO MUCH BETTER and you do not deserve to be told those things. looking back, i was stupid, and believed him. why i didn’t leave his skinny (never-goes-to-the-gym) ass right then and there disappoints me today. i don’t know YOUR relationship, but i do know that anyone that puts you down is NOT the right person for you…even if you do love them. and as hard as it may seem to leave and cut them out of your life, know that you are worth so much more.

it’s toxic.

and it hurts.

and allowing it to happen isn’t ok either.

so be strong, stand up for yourself, and know that you are beautiful and deserve nothing but the best!


push through the negatives…

it was a rough week for me, hence the sparsity of words in this blog, i do apologize for that as my goal is to post something positive here at least once a day.  somedays it’s hard to wipe away all the other stuff to get into the positive…but this will be a great exercise on me in regards to mental discipline!

i’ve been struggling a bit with my self image, unfortunately on the INSIDE and OUT.  i’m my biggest critic and i’ve been insanely critical and judgemental this week and it’s torn me down a bit.

so i’m ready to end that phase of negative self talk and be a stronger version of myself.

i started this weekend with 2 hours in the gym, which always makes me feel strong and have a lovely weekend ahead with my mom and sister, two sassy, strong women that know how to have fun!

So i wanted to share some quotes that helped me get back on track and hopefully can bring something to you too!  Enjoy! xxx

One of the most courageous things you can do is identify yourself, know who you are, what you believe inand where you want to go. * Sheila Murray Bethel

*** i need this one DAILY!!!*** —> The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself. – Anna Quindlen.

Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we learned here. * Marianne Williamson

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. “I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.” You must do the thing you think you cannot do. * Eleanor Roosevelt

* LOVE this next one —> I’m not afraid of storms, for I’m learning to sail my ship.  * Louisa May Alcott

You move totally away from reality when you believe that there is a legitimate reason to suffer. * Byron Katie

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen nor touched but are felt in the heart. * Helen Keller

I am willing to put myself through anything, temporary pain or discomfort means nothing to me as long as I can see that the experience will take me to a new level. I am interested in the unknown, and the only path to the unknown is through breaking barriers, an often painful process. * Diana Nyad

The most courageous act is still to think for yourself. Aloud.  * Coco Chanel  (<—-THIS is and has always been one of my favorite quotes, probably because i’m not known for keeping my voice quiet!)

Stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone ought to be. * Elizabeth Gilbert

And the trouble is, if you don’t risk anything, you risk more. * Erica Jong

Women are never stronger than when they arm themselves with their weaknesses. * Madame Marie du Deffand

the definition of ‘strong’


Having the power to move heavy weights or perform other physically demanding tasks.
Able to perform a specified action well and powerfully: “he was not a strong swimmer”.
powerful – sturdy – firm – robust – hard – solid – lusty

so i’ve been struggling as to how to get going with what i’m trying to accomplish here. i’m seeing this blog as something “too big” and just need to narrow my mind down and keep it simple. speak from life experiences and stories that have made me feel strong, weak, vulnerable, independent, dependent, sassy, and beautiful.

so let’s dive in.

strong women. who conveys strength in society? sadly, often, strong women are still looked down upon — they are judged harsher than supermodels — strength still seems to be a negative connotation sometimes. we call strong women bitches or say they have no need for men, or make other comments that often degrate and downgrade a woman.

Strong, to me, is beautiful. Strong is something that comes from within. Strong are people who are innovative and break the mold and push the limits. I gravitate toward strong women and want to be as badass as they are.

so let’s see…who do i consider strong women role models. For me, my Mom is definitely one of the strongest women i know — she has made the most of her life and has come out of hard situations as a stronger, more graceful woman. Elizabeth Gilbert is an amazingly strong woman who i admire, i feel like her words come from my soul and i hope that one day i can do things as amazing as her. Other people I consider a great pillar of strength — Hilary Clinton; Martina Navartolova; Condoleeza Rice; Maria Shriver; Kelly Cutrone; Betsy Johnson; my sister; my neighbor; I could go on and on.

Strength shows itself in so many different ways. I say my neighbor is strong because she is an absolutely amazing woman — mother of two, always smiling and positive, and battling cancer. She maintains a successful marriage, is raising 2 balanced, smart, talented young women and always has something positive to say.

Hilary Clinton embodies strength to me. She works in a man’s world and does her job better than most. She isn’t afraid of confrontation, isn’t afraid to speak her mind, isn’t afraid to get her hands dirty. So, she isn’t a supermodel, but why should that take away from her inner beauty? She’s dealt with a rocky marriage, raised a successful daughter, and to me is working harder than most employed in the White House.

So what makes me strong? Good question 😉 I am always working on building my inner and outer strength. Maybe the fact that Somedays I feel so weak, but I get up and keep trying – makes me strong? I try to stay positive when the world is falling down — and even if I don’t maintain that image on the inside, I sure do on the outside. I’ve fallen on challenging times and am working on letting this make me a stronger woman. I’m strong because I speak my mind, because I believe no one is better than me, because I know I can accomplish anything i want to accomplish. Because I help build people up instead of breaking them down. Becuase I spend an hour a day working on my physical strength. Because I’m not afraid of life or change. Because I’m not afraid of being alone, and I enjoy it. Because being “strong” often comes from fooling everyone else and just believing you are. 😉

so what makes you strong? and how can we keep building our inner strength?


i’m inspired daily by words…here are just a few that convey strong, sassy, independence to me…