you see progress, i see much more work to be done!

ahhhh i had this great blog in mind to write, and then i heard news how satan is destroying something that once was part of me and mine…without saying anything to be obvious, once a classless liar, ALWAYS A CLASSLESS LIAR. and this in no way involves a man.  complete bitch drama right here.  karma is a bitch, and that’s all i have to say.

i can’t wait to get to the punching bags tomorrow…!!!!!!

anyway…back to the task at hand.

you see progress, i see much more work to be done!!!

my beautiful friend (who also happens to be my awesome lifting/workout partner in crime!) got married over the weekend!  it was lovely and fun.  anyway, i posted a picture and got a flood of responses on how “great” i look and asking how much weight i’ve lost, blah blah blah…

first things first, i don’t do well with complements.  never have.  want to know why??  to me, i always can do better or improve.  hearing someone complement me on how i look makes me a) think i must have looked REALLY bad before and b) only makes me want to look even better!!!!

with that being said, i’ve been working out hard core more or less for 3 months now.  i’ve eaten super well all month with my cheat meals sporadically.  and i’ve enjoyed my “rest days” by working out and taking one complete day off (let’s face it, i’m not working SO hard that a full 24 hours off is absolutely necesary in my opinion, so a quick 2 mile run is ok on a day off when i only have bootcamp to follow the next morning).  i know where i struggle and the things i hate doing, which means they are the things i NEED to do.  i am focusing this week on upping my cardio, which means i will be adding sprints and jump rope in between my lifting sets.  and if i can get myself to run 2-6 more miles this week on top of my workouts, i will be happy with myself!!!

i don’t see the progress everyone else is seeing.  i want to see it more!!  i know i have lost inches and fat, and i know i need to enjoy the small steps, but i’m trying to push to somewhere my body hasn’t been in a long time, which means i need to stay focused and not let myself slip at a little complement.

 

ok. sorry…more drama, that’s it for today!!

be good to one another!! ❤

 

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Healthy Changes.

For the first time in my life, I’ve broken patterns of emotional eating. I know, that sounds pathetic. I probably sound like a middle-aged woman who sits at home at night eating a tub of ice cream. That’s not me. However, I’ve had patterns of having a bad day and going straight to the pantry to whip up a batch of brownies, while enjoying enough batter to make myself sick. Between that and the fact that I used to think I could get away with eating whatever I wanted as long as I put the work time in at the gym, I am working on changing those unhealthy habits.

Since the year has begun, I haven’t binged on anything, let alone anything unhealthy, and I’ve maintained my clean eating (with my free meal per week, which has ended up not being huge splurges either). My cravings have become comical…currently I’m waiting for my broccoli and asparagus to cook as I am enjoying a plate of veggies as a snack. Last night, instead of finding a high calorie, high fat food to feel sorry for myself with, I enjoyed a bowl of frozen grapes.

And I’m not suffering or craving the foods I once enjoyed. I’m enjoying finding creative new ways to make meals. And most of all, I’m enjoying how I feel!

I didn’t have a great workout today and was struggling to maintain my focus during bootcamp, so instead of being pissed at myself, I grabbed the jump rope and some med balls and did an extra thirty minutes of focused sweating and anger management!

I’m proud of myself for continuing to work to be the healthiest version of me!

my ever-so-unpopular-opinion OF the biggest loser…

last night, the ever-so-favorite show of many premiered.  i must say, i have NEVER watched a single episode.  i’m not sure why, but i’ve always been turned off by the concept of putting “overweight” people on TV to watch them sweat and fall over until they lose half their size.  yes, i know the show CHANGES LIVES and does a lot of positive…but i just don’t like it (we’re all entitled to our own opinions, right?!?).

so, since i’ve changed my own lifestyle pretty drastically in the last six months, everyone was telling me how inspiring the show was and how much they LOVE Jillian Michaels (again, have never liked her…still don’t), so i decided to give it a go.  maybe it’s hard for me to understand because even at my heaviest or when i was the least out of shape, i was still exercising.  i’ve been exercising since i was 5.  i’ve been pushing my body my whole life, even if i hate it, i’ve known what a “tough workout” was before i hit puberty.  so it’s actually unfathomable to me to see SO many people who just don’t work out (that sounds super naiive, and i’m forever grateful for having parents who were active and allowed me to pursue my athletic goals).  and then not only do they NOT exercise, but they eat absolutely horribly!  maybe it’s a turn off and i don’t respect the way they have treated their bodies — maybe that’s what makes me cringe just seeing the commercials.  maybe it’s the fact that i feel like it’s a mockery. making women who clearly are overweight weigh themselves in front of america in “crop tops???” obviously they signed up for it and know what they are getting into, but even at my gym, the weighing is done at each own’s discretion and there are even room dividers for people who are uncomfortable putting it ALL out there for the whole gym to see.

then there’s the issue of weight loss vs. fat loss.  as any fittie knows, muscle weighs more than fat, and clearly these participants have a bunch of fat to lose, but are they gaining muscle?  i’d be more interested in seeing their fat percentages go down than their weight.  anyone can stop eating or even go anorexic and instantly lose five pounds (trust me, i’ve done it)…but eating right, exercising right, losing FAT and gaining MUSCLE is what i’m interested in.  hell, my goal in November (before i started eating clean) was to lose 30 lbs by thanksgiving…that was absolutely INSANE of me!!!  when i started eating clean, i lost a percentage of body fat in a week…but weighed the exact same…lost inches, but weighed the exact same…i wasn’t so concerned about the number on the scale anymore, but more concerned about my measurements and body fat!!

i’m not going to lie, i’m a bit jealous of the ladies who lost 20 pounds in a week…as i struggle to pass my plateau weight this week…but when you take someone who has never eaten well and never exercised three hours a week, let alone three hours a day, obviously that 20 pounds is going to come off quick.  (Maintaining after the show is always the issue, but hopefully this is a lifestyle change for all of the participants…but we ALL know that one girl who lost “so much weight” at the gym who hasn’t been back in 6 months and now looks heavier than when she began…).

so maybe i’m a negative nancy when it comes to the Biggest Loser, and maybe i just haven’t given it enough of a chance yet since i have only seen one episode now…but everyone in america cannot “play” biggest loser and afford Bob Harper for an hour every day.  and it really isn’t a show SHOWING anything but Jillian yelling at people falling off a treadmile (and really, if you have the energy to YELL back at your trainer, you clearly have the energy to keep going on the treadmile…just saying!).  so I really wish they would focus on explaining things better to the world.  explain WHY they are doing cardio and weights and certain exercises.  explain the “diets”/new eating habits/changes of the participants are on and why. explain that in actuality they are working out SIX HOURS A DAY (um…yea, you bet your ass you’d lose weight after 6 hours). explain hydration issues. explain injury prevention. explain how someone who is 100lbs overweight can get started on their own.  i’d be VERY interested in seeing everything we don’t see.  we all know how a elliptical and row machine works, show America what they don’t know.

lastly, i commend EVERYONE and ANYONE looking to improve their health and fitness!  i am in no means cutting down participants or anyone else inspired by this show to get fit.  the fact that it has had such a great impact on the country is awesome!  i just think there is still SO MUCH SO MANY PEOPLE don’t know about working out and eating healthy.  and let’s face it, it can be very intimidating to take that first step.

so i apologize if i have offended any Jillian Michaels fans or Biggest Loser watchers!  again, it’s great that it is so inspiring and motivating for people.  if that is what motivates you, then AWESOME, keep watching and keep getting your ass in gear 😉

just my two cents! 😉

The gym is my drug of choice

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Nothing out there leaves me with the high I have when walking out of those gym doors. Sure, it’s the endorphins…but it’s also become the people.

I literally love being around the people I train with. We all know I already adore my trainer…but now the people I’ve met have really made a difference on me.

I’ve made friends with some awesome people. People who are successful and wake up before dawn and go to bed late but spend the day doing so much and accomplishing things. People who inspire me and help me in my journey. People who are healthy and “get it” — get the obsession of being healthy and fit. People who are doing great things in their life and care about others. People that I’m super excited to be spending time around. People who lift my spirits and leave me feeling good about myself. People that accept and like me for who I am. People that celebrate my accomplishments and aren’t there to beat me up if I take a step back but rather are there to hold my hand and help me go forward again.

It’s pretty lucky I’ve found this niche and have opened myself up to be friends with these people. They make my day and make me smile and I’m beyond thankful that they’ve found there way into my life.

healthy is beautiful.

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i’ve been slacking on my “thankful” posts…and every time i think of what to write about, i’m brought back to being thankful for my health and athleticism, and ability and opportunity to work on my physical side.

for the first time in my life, that’s almost 30 years, i am working on finding the body i like in a HEALTHY way.

as i’ve mentioned before, i’ve always struggled with body image. i’ve always been tall…i’ve always been strong…i’ve never been tiny or skinny or anything like that. at a young age i learned to starve myself and binge and starve myself and restrict things from my diet and push my body to the limits.

starving is a HORRIBLE habit that has always been my go to. PLEASE, ANYONE READING THIS, DONT EVER STARVE YOURSELF. I DONT CONDONE THIS IN ANY WAY. i hate that thats how i coped with “feeling fat” or a bad weekend of eating. and i KNEW it messed up my metabolism even more! so it was pathetic — i KNEW i was hurting myself and still would do it. i felt horrible for being a coach of female athletes and being guilty of restricting myself of food for hours and hours at a time.

For the first time in my life, i see that i NEED TO EAT. Eating is STILL a challenge for me. Some days it’s a chore and i force myself to eat, whether it’s chugging a protein drink or forcing some chicken down, i know my body needs fuel. and it needs the right fuel.

i find myself desperate to shove protein in my mouth now, instead of desperate to keep busy so i don’t realize my stomach growling from hunger!

be healthy ladies. DONT STARVE YOURSELF! it only messes things up more…you feel skinnier but your metabolism gets insanely out of wack. DO EAT! and in moderation and healthy. don’t go out and gorge on donuts and beer, but if you want a beer and a donut, go for it, but stop at one…and get your butt to the gym 😉 BE SMART. if you’re hungry, eat. DRINK WATER! hunger is often disguised by thirst. drink some water and see if you still are hungry. and STAY ACTIVE. make exercise fun and you’ll never want to miss a day!